What is Bottom Dysphoria? | How to deal with bottom dysphoria

Hey, trans and nonbinary friends! Aaron here and I’m gonna talk with you all about Bottom Dysphoria. Being a transman in today’s society is a lot to process and can take years to come to terms with. There are so many thoughts going on in the mind. I remember first discovering the word “dysphoria” while scrolling in a rabbit hole about gender. I was stunned. There’s a WORD for this feeling that no one around me seems to experience. Every transgender person experiences different levels of dysphoria for different reasons and some may not ever have this feeling.

What is Bottom Dysphoria?

The definition of gender dysphoria is “the distress (emotional and psychological) a person experiences when their gender identity as male or female is opposite to one's biological sex”.  Your mind and your body aren’t aligned.

Bottom Dysphoria definition is “a feeling of discomfort or distress about one’s genitalia not matching their gender identity.” Many might think, “This assigned anatomy ‘down below’ is not what I want to have. I wish it were the other option, or I wish there were just nothing.” Transgender is not a blanket statement and doesn’t immediately mean every transgender person experiences dysphoria.

This distress can impact someone in more ways than one. Whether it’s confidence in your daily life, comfort in your personal life, or passion in your sex life, bottom dysphoria can wreak havoc in your life if not addressed. However! Not everyone experiences bottom dysphoria, and some feel this sensation stronger than others. But for the purposes of this article, let’s address how some are able to live with bottom dysphoria without it controlling their lives.

What can I do to help win the battle? 

Packing

If you’re a transmasculine person or assigned female at birth and want to see a bulge, packing might blow your mind. I first heard of packing on an episode of Catfish years ago where the person ended up being a female-identifying person who “wore a strap-on all the time” and I remember thinking, holy shit. How cool would that be?? To just be ready at any time?? And in that moment, I was like … oh … wait … there’s a word for that too.

You can use padding in your underwear to appear to have the bulge and often trans people use products called “FTM packer”. These can be phallic-shaped prosthetics that give the impression of a realistic look or just foam to give the impression.

Tucking

If you’re a transfeminine person or assigned male at birth and you want to minimize the bulge that is there, you may want to look into what’s called ‘tucking’. This is where those who have a penis are able to compress it down so it’s not noticeable to the eye. You can use compression garments and/or body tape to help.

Self Care & Identify Triggers

Often with my own dysphoria, I noticed I’d want to avoid my body. “Hustle in the bathroom.” “Don’t look down in the shower.” “Eyes up and you won’t see it, Aaron.” But this isn’t always enough to get you through. I’d encourage you to spend time grounding yourself. Listen to your body and see if you can decipher what is causing you this distress. This is NOT always an easy task to do. It may not be straightforward and could require deep reflection. But you don’t have to do that on your own. That’s a daunting task that I didn’t know how to navigate - at all!

Gender Therapist

When I started discovering my identity, I eventually wanted to meet with a therapist who had experience with gender dysphoria and who could share with me the knowledge of transgender people in general. I didn’t have to be sure that was me, I just wanted to learn about the trans* community more so I could see if that resonated with what I knew about myself. I’d encourage you to try talking with a professional who can provide you with a more individual-specific gender exploration and/or discovery experience.

Support groups

No not the boring ones. The kind you leave feeling supported like you should. My first experience at a support group was not what I was expecting. At the time, I lived in Eugene, Oregon, and I met with an awesome group called TransPonder where transgender individuals met monthly. I was so nervous and I went alone but was instantly met with such light. I only attended maybe twice, but those two times changed my perspective on transgender people. There were about 10 people there, and probably 2 were transmasculine individuals. The other transwomen were so sweet and loving and would go in a circle sharing what was going on in their lives. There are many options available and if you’re like me, and now live in a conservative area, you can find many online social media groups like Facebook and Discord.

Explore Medical Options

Hormone replacement therapy is often a practice used to help transgender people feel more at peace within their bodies. Estrogen for transwomen and testosterone for trans-masculine individuals trigger the secondary sex characteristics in the body. Often giving many trans people more peace in their day-to-day lives as well as mentally.

For those who can’t find respite, there are also surgical options that can help with these feelings. For those assigned female at birth who want to stand to pee with their anatomy, but don’t want the full phallus, there is a smaller surgery called Metoidioplasty. For those who want to be able to have a full penis, you can explore Phalloplasty where they use a skin graft via your arm or thigh and they create the phallus this way.

Transwomen might explore Vaginoplasty: A common technique for bottom surgery that creates female genitalia with function and feeling.

From Dysphoria to Euphoria

It’s imperative to remember that you are not alone in this feeling. It may seem like you are, but no one gets it. It may seem like you are a freak or not ‘normal’. I’m here to tell you that you are NOT a freak. You are so loved and beautiful inside and out. Even if you feel like it’s just too much right now, I want you to know it gets better and you can win this battle with your dysphoria. I am here for you and so many around the world are sending their love and support. We will get through this. Together.

Ps. Here are some additional resources for you to reach out if you’re in need:

Transgender people in crisis should contact the following resources: 

• The Trevor Project‘s 24/7/365 Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) or TrevorChat, their online instant messaging option, or TrevorText, a text-based support option. If you are looking for peer support, you can visit TrevorSpace from anywhere in the world.

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255)

• Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860

About the Author: Aaron Capener

Hey new friend! I’m a transgender content creator and media business owner in a small town in Tennessee. I feel especially called to share my experiences to help other people learn how to also live their lives as their most authentic selves. I’ve been on testosterone since 2017, had top surgery in 2023 and have been using these experiences to share guidance with those in need around me. Married, and now a father, I’m so thankful to have made it to the place in my life I thought was impossible to reach. And now I’m ready to help others achieve the same happiness that everyone is worthy of.